selfishness..

Only today I really really realized how selfish can others be. Not that I want to complain, but there's no one else that i can truely trust in this campus area. Even a friend that we know each others since secondary school will just ignored me when really want and need to talk to her.
Actually this problem had been exist since I was in secondary school. But I still believe that this world are still pretty. Not totally been corrupted, at least in my world. But when I grew up, with all the seasonings- experiences, friends, events that I had came across, it really make my life full of spices.
Sometimes, I really don't understand why human can be so selfish, self-centered? For an example, today I had skill lab, everytime, I'm the one who assessed my group members. Today, I want to practice so I ask someone to assess me. But all I realized is they are not really sincerely access me. Maybe they do or maybe I'm too correct in my assessment? But that's what I feel... Or maybe I also behave the same way when I assess them, therefore they also do the same thing to me. Wow.. this is like a riddle.. guessing here and there...
I think they know I'm upset about something, because all my feeling wrote on my face. I tried not to show all my feeling on my face but I just can't. Haven trained till that level yet. Even though I try to smile, but I still failed. Why some people can hide their feeling very well but not me? Why am i such a failure?

And I just rejected a guy who is my net friend. But i think he just want to find someone to spend time on. And I don't know him, don't want to make the same mistakes again, again and again. Although i'm quite desparate but I still don't want to have that kind of boyfriend in my real life. And I also cant feel the sincerity. I think these reasons enough for me to reject him, am I right? Hahaha.. and the most important thing is I never see him before. Don't know how he looked like. If he is an ugly hunk.. +_+!!! I don't want...