i'm so sorry...

This sorry, I want to post to a lot of people. 

First, Xia Huali. I borrowed her thumb drive yesterday to save the Management e- lecture. But when we want to go, I just left the thumb drive there. And I only realized I forget to plug it out when I'm at home around 6pm where we actually leave the school by 11am. What a sucks memory I have. Lost the thumb drive, i can still buy a new one for her, but the info inside the thumb drive, I can never replace it. Although she never say anything, but I still feel shame to see her again. Like I had done a real big mistakes. Arghh.. 

And this is not the first time i lost a thumb drive. I lost a few of mine since this semester. I can only admit that my luck is super duper bad.

Secondly, apologize to my boyfriend. I sorry that I'm kind of avoid to talk to you this few days. Although I tried to talk with you, but after a few messages, I'm sick of it. I was wondering is it my fault that I can't talk in a way you like to. And then all the negative feeling came over and I starts thinking all the bad things. Even though before we became a couple, I already know you are that kind of person who like to talk in such a way. But sometimes, I just can't take it. I know using avoidance won't last long. And giving in? I think only can last for a few seconds. I'm sorry that I'm not that kind of girl. I just can't take it if this continue for a long period. 

I guess why all my relationship can't last long because I'm not willing to give in... but I do want to be with you till the day we really forbidden by my parents.

I can't wait for Saturday...

Thirdly, I want to apologize to my group members. I know I'm a sucks group leader. I also don't know what had happen that lead us to become like this. Maybe everyone of us just want to graduate. Well, I'm not sure what I want to say also. I only know that I had done my best to arrange things, time and info for you all. Like the Management says, nurses can't do their job alone. I hope you all understand this theory. I can arrange all the info but I can't complete it all by myself, because I'm not that capable. I can only say, co- operation is the best solution for all of us since we all want to be graduate safely. 

Fourth, I want to apologize to myself. I had no idea what I had done wrong to cause me in all these states. Probably it's just me who can't see my own mistakes but always spots others. Reflection done on myself. Most of them say I'm sarcastic. Then things happen, I don't know what to do. I changed, to become a better person, but do i success? In terms of not being sarcastic? No one tell me. I know if there's some one rules out my weakness, I guess it must be a lot. Friends always say I'm so pessimistic, look sad all the time, stressed. How am I not when I need something but I couldn't have? And I keep on making the same fucking mistakes in my life. If I can't really cope with my school life, how am I going to cope the hospital life?? I seriously had no idea.