playing with fire

I met him after 1 yr.. He didn't changed much except for being a damn smoker!! He changed his car, from small to big..
We meet up after 1 yr.. I have lots of imagination before i met him. Most of them happened.. I cried.. we kissed, cuddled.. He asked me why am i crying.. How can i answer this silly question..
He said he know that i missed him from the way i kiss. Then don't ask that silly question why am i crying.. He is a big fat idiot..
Promised to meet up again.. And i think we are playing with fire..
Meet up as friend, want to meet up more often, then more and more often, feel jealous when his phone rang, kept on persuading myself  "we are impossible", "i'm just his friend", "don't ever think about that". Sooner or later i'll want more from him...
I don't know how honest he is when we meet up.. but at least i'm honest.. "no one but him".
After that night, i feel that i'm full with love.. but after that night, i know one day, i have to wake up.. he is not mine..
Family and love, i chose family.. That's what i should bear in mind..
Even now, I miss him still.. Sickening leelee... always love the wrong person...