2 subject have finished, still have 3 to go.. Only left 3 subjects, supposedly should be a bit happy.. But just now I asked mom to call me, actually she just want to ask me, when will i go back? Then i explain to her that i can't go back because of I'm having my exam. So she say ok, and ask me to work hard on it. I'm happy. But later on, she asked me, whether I'm sponsored by any hospital. I told her honestly that my result was just all pass. So with my result, I'm not qualified to apply for any sponsorship. Guess what my mom ask.. "So with that result, can you find a job as a nurse in the future?" I said:" Mom, don't worry, I had asked my teacher, he say i still can get employed with that result.."
Next i know why she ask me about the sponsorship already. Because of my that "capable" father, his company don't have overtime work for him anymore. That's mean: No overtime= no extra income. I think mom was worried about family's expenses. But yet, I still need such a big amount for my study and daily expenses in Singapore dollar. How i wish, i came to Singapore to work but not to study. But what can i do now? Only can continue on what i had been doing now.
Then my heart feel pain and i feel so guilty. Why i never apply for any sponsorship when i was just start my nursing course? Pain because my family have to suffer.. well, just finished crying..
Actually, i have a very negative thoughts, maybe should be taken care by some sugar daddy. Only if I'm that "cheap" enough to do so. If I really can lower down my status, I think I've been booked by lots of sugar daddy long long time ago..
Mom, i want to tell you that i love you so much. The love that you gave me, I very appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. I can survive in this foreign country and this world, it's all because of you. Your support and presence in my heart drove me go through all this difficult life. I really can't imagine how my life will be without you. So mom, you must live until 100 years old. I love you...
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