Questions... wonders...

I had a terrible mood swing right now... why? No idea.. I guess it's because of him... yes.. i'm in a relationship again.. Fast food relationship... what more??

It was totally different.. no heart pounding.. not experiencing any honey moon period... 

Why? I don't know... I think there's 1 common thing about guy.. sex.. yes.. it's sex..

It's killing me whenever a relationship comes to sex.. they say you can feel the love via sex.. its true but is it the only way?? 

I hate myself.. because i'm the 1 who ruined my life and my happiness... I can only blamed myself..  what more??

I hate waiting for messages, I don't expect much but at least let me know that you are busy with something and not letting me wait for nothing.. 

I hate when there's no exact timing to meet. It makes me feel so lousy.. not so.. its fucking lousy..  like i'm the last person you wanted to see.. i should be more understanding because you are working.. Am i right?

And i hate myself more.. i don't even dare to tell him all these.. I don't even dare to tell him why i'm having this terrible mood swing... and i'm fucking repeating the same mistakes that i always done... 

I just hate telling people how much i dislike the behavior... ended up suffer on my own.. i'm so useless... 

I can't feel anything anymore... I'm so lost... freaking lost...I seems like doesn't know him.. so superficial..

I think there's some good things if he never add me in facebook or chat via msn. He will not know what exactly in my mind, what i spouts nonsense... what i had done.. the immediate emotions and feelings. But it certainly is not good for a relationship..

I can't wait to get myself busy with work... just like what i always do... i think being single for 7 months does left a great impact on me... too focus on myself.. 

I promise to myself that i'm put in more effort to change because i want to cherish my own life and happiness..